Dr MaryCatherine McDonald, a trauma researcher and grief coach, nearly gave up writing her new book The Joy Reset after a close friend was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. The shock left her doubting the book’s premise. But in that moment of darkness, a realization came to her: joy doesn’t need your belief—it finds you. That insight became the foundation of her book, which explores how trauma blocks joy and how we can reclaim it. Drawing from neuroscience and positive psychology, McDonald shows that emotional numbness, like that seen globally during the pandemic, often stems from trauma shutting down the brain’s “hope circuit”—a mechanism that anticipates positive experiences.
In the book, she identifies six “joy blockers” that fall into three categories: joy-resistance, joy-fear, and joy-guilt. Hypervigilance is one of the most common blockers. When people constantly scan for threats, joy can feel unsafe because it lowers defenses. Guilt is another, especially when people believe they don’t deserve to feel happy while others suffer. McDonald stresses that trauma isn’t limited to extreme events; rather, it’s any overwhelming emotional experience that lacks support. Many people don’t realize how past experiences—like a toxic teacher in childhood—can leave long-lasting emotional scars.
Her book is a practical guide to restoring emotional balance by making space for joy again. Among the tools she shares are “Tiny Little Joys”—daily moments that spark joy, such as a comforting drink or sunlight through a window. Others include imagining joyful but impossible scenarios, revisiting past successes with “Retroactive Celebration,” and observing joy in others through field trips to joyful spaces. These practices aren’t about forcing happiness but gently waking up the brain’s capacity to feel it again.
McDonald believes joy and pain coexist. Healing, she argues, involves learning to sit with both. Even those not yet fully healed can begin rediscovering joy. She urges people to revisit childhood memories where joy was once felt and to reconnect with those sensations. She recalls grieving her father’s sudden death at 24, overwhelmed by despair—yet still hearing a child’s laughter through her window. In that moment, she realized joy endures, always waiting to be noticed.
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