Hakan Kilic and his family have found a deeply personal way to honor the memory of Katalin Kollar, his late mother-in-law, by celebrating her birthday each year in Yalova, Turkey, next to a portrait crafted from her cremated ashes. The idea originated when Serap Lokmaci, an artist who occasionally works with sand drawings, learned that Kollar had been cremated in Hungary. Inspired by this, she suggested creating a portrait using the ashes, a concept that intrigued the family.
Kilic explained that they initially brought half of Kollar’s ashes to Turkey with the intention of scattering them in the Bosphorus Strait, as cremation is not practiced in the country. However, after hearing Lokmaci’s idea, they decided to preserve some of the ashes for the portrait. While the notion of having a painting made from a loved one’s remains felt unusual at first, it gradually became a comforting presence in their home. Kilic described how, over time, they grew accustomed to seeing the portrait and even felt as though Kollar remained with them in some way.
Each year on her birthday, the family gathers for an intimate celebration. They prepare a small cake, light a candle, and place the portrait at the head of the table. Kilic’s young son takes part in the ritual by blowing out the candle, reinforcing the connection they still feel with Kollar. The tradition has become a meaningful way for the family to keep her memory alive, transforming grief into an act of remembrance.
Lokmaci, who works from her studio in Urgup, in central Turkey’s Nevsehir province, described the experience of painting with ashes as a profound and spiritual journey. For her, the process was akin to a farewell ceremony, creating an enduring presence beyond death. The artist meticulously applied the ashes to a canvas using adhesive, a technique she had never used before. She admitted that the experience left a lasting impression on her, even influencing her dreams after completing the work.
The portrait serves as more than just a tribute; it has become a symbol of continuity, preserving Kollar’s essence in a tangible form. The family’s annual ritual underscores the emotional power of art in memorializing loved ones, offering a sense of closeness that defies the passage of time.
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